☆ The Birthing House Õ Download by ☆ Christopher Ransom

☆ The Birthing House Õ Download by ☆ Christopher Ransom What a catastrophic disappointment! I love thinking about the history of old houses, so this sounded like an ideal spooky read for me.
Somewhere within the first 50 pages, it all unraveled and became naught but a mess.


First, I really don't like the author's style.
His sentences don't seem to flow at all, only appearing on the page in fits & starts.
There are way too many sentence fragments for my liking.
In addition to that, the narrator's voice just feels too forced.
When you suspect someone has threatened/is threatening a loved one, and the adrenaline is running high, who in their right mind says, "If something has hurt them, I will run amok.
" YOU WILL RUN AMOK?! WTH?! All along this guy has been dropping the fbomb and swearing left & right, but when his adrenaline is up and panic surging, the best threat he has is that he will "run amok"?

Wi I absolutely hate false advertising.
On the back of the cover of this book it proudly states it's "the scariest novel since Stephen King's The Shining".
This is not true, it's a complete lie and a huge insult to Mr.
King! Like everyone else that has apparently brought this book, I fell for this and I was drawn to the spooky cover and the synopsis on the back of the novel that sounded so good.


The novel doesn't live up to the expectations of the description on the back.
What is book really is is an extremely poorly written novel that isn't even the slightest bit scary, written by an a truly awful author.
The dialogue is terrible and appalling, the plot is absolutely dreadful, and there isn't even one likeable character in the entire book.
No actually that's not true, I liked the two poor dogs, everyone else could have died on the first page for all I c Pardon the pun, but this book was stillborn: the horror factor was lukewarm, the gratuitous swearing and sex (I'm sure some readers may think that they weren't gratuitous but they really do feel that way, like they were added for effect rather than organically coming from the book), and the prose were just not doing it for me.
I got flashes of The Others (the Nicole Kidman movie, not the Tyrone book), Amityville Horror, Stephen King, Mickey Spillane and Horror Writing for Dummies.
Not even halfway through and I gave up.



HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA yeah right!

This is a book about the power of semen.
It also has a retarded ghost (not "retarded" as in "lame"; literally the ghost of a mentally disabled person who is modeled after the character Nell from the movie "Nell"the one who says "tay inna winn, missy chickobay!" [it is particularly telling of the author's talent that he actually, there on the page, compares this ghost to Nell himself.
As in, I did not draw this conclusion on my own.
Somewhere in this book there is a sentence that basically reads: "Then the ghost said 'omma bahbee lovies!" and it reminded me, the protagonist, of that character Nell from the movie 'Nell'".
])

My only wish is that this book could be made into a suitable lowbudget film that I could watch for free on On Demand, because I know it would be the awesomest drinkin So, a first novel, published by a major Brit house, marketed as horror and freely available in supermarkets and coming complete with great blurbs and a very favourable comparison to Stephen King and “The Shining”.
Does it live up to any of that? No, I don’t think so.
The story is fairly straightforward, a marriage is in crisis and in an effort to reinstate the status quo, the protagonists move to the MidWest.
Except Conrad, a failed everything whose father has also just died, isn’t particularly likeable and his opinion of his wife Joanna changes from chapter to chapter, depending on how it suits the storyshe’s a slut (with Conrad’s exbest friend), domineering, submissive, lying, open, happy, sadwhatever you want.
We also meet two other womenHolly, the ex from way back and Nadia, the pregnant teen from next door.
The Holly situation is meant to mean Seeing as the reviews for this seem to be so bad, I thought I'd better mention that my review is not a critical one.
So I don't know if it's just a personal preference and taste thing.
Or maybe I'm just easily pleased compared to others.
Who knows? But I know I seem to be in the minority when I say I really enjoyed this book.
I found parts of it genuinely creepy, which isn't something I say too often.
Granted, it's farfetched and slightly confused (to be fair, what horror novels aren't?) but if you take it as it is and don't think too much into it, it's a good read.


So, whether you liked the book or not, that's my opinion.
Take it or leave it.
Now let's go back to our lives and remember that writing good books, particularly in the horror genre, is bloody hard work! *throws mic on floor* I can't even!!! What the hell I read the whole book and I'm still not sure what it's about.
I was so confused there was no plot really and the timelines didn't make sense, and the ending well I'm not sure there even was one I would give this book no stars if that was a choice.
Ughhhh I'm completely at a loss with this book .
It was one of the most frustrating reads I have ever read.
I still don't know why there was so much sex talk when no one was having any sex , and the iced tea thing there was never an explanation.
A lot of this story was left undone and if I wanted to fill in the blanks on a story myself I would have written one and not wasted my money on this book.
Plus the main character Conrad was just really super creepy he was like just trying to put any girl In a wife's space,he was even making creepy moves on the n The Birthing House By Christopher Ransom The Birthing House Worst Comes The Book You Can T Even Finish I Got Halfway Through And Just Gave Up Forget This Book, Let It Be Lost Within The Rest Of The Built To Fail Readings Of The Horror Genre I Ll Never Get The Stain This Novel Has Left On My Love For books Out The Birthing House Poche Christopher Ransom AchatThe Birthing House, Christopher Ransom, Little Brown Libri Des Milliers De Livres Avec La Livraison Chez Vous Enjour Ou En Magasin Avec % De Rduction Ou Tlchargez La Version EBookThe Birthing House Ransom, Christopher Livres NotRetrouvez The Birthing House Et Des Millions De Livres En Stock SurAchetez Neuf Ou D OccasionThe Birthing House Livres NotRetrouvez The Birthing House Et Des Millions De Livres En Stock SurAchetez Neuf Ou D Occasion The Birthing HouseRansom, If The Birthing House Had Just Been A Biting And Well Written Novel About A Contemporary Marriage, That Would Have Been Enough To Make It Worth Your Time If It Had Just Been The Kind Of Genuinely Scary Story That Makes Little Hairs Stand Up On The Back Of Your Neck, That Would Have Been Sufficient As Well The Birthing House English Edition EBook RansomAchetez Et Tlchargez Ebook The Birthing House English Edition Boutique Kindle Action AdventureThe Birthing House Ransom, Christopher A Blend Of Supernatural Horror And Psychological Thriller, Ransom S Impressive Debut Chronicles A Couple S Descent Into Madness After They Purchase Ayear Old Victorian House The Birthing House A Novel English Edition EBookAchetez Et Tlchargez Ebook The Birthing House A Novel English Edition Boutique Kindle SuspenseThe Birthing House EBook De Christopher RansomLisez The Birthing House De Christopher Ransom Disponible Chez Rakuten Kobo When Conrad Harrison Impulse Buys A Big Old House In Wisconsin, His Wife The Natural BirthHouse Acadiana Nortshore It S Time To Choose A Birthing Environment That Is Gentle And Supportive During Such A Special Moment In Your Life We Know You Will Be Surprised At How MuchThe Natural BirthHouse Has To Offer Than Just A Comfortable Environment To Deliver Your Baby In Very poor book.
I was seduced by the coverit's great.
However, the author needs to note that esxcessive use of words "fuck" and "shit" and all their declensions does not make a book "mature" or "cool".
The premise is interestinga guy moves to a new house, where he finds a 100 year old photo of unknown women.
.
.
among them his wife.

But the writing is bad, the characters cardboard, the relationship so devoid of substance that one might think it came from a Hollywood movie.
.
.

One of the indirect quotes"A man is happiest just after he came".
That was supposed to be deep or what ? Another notegraphic sex scenes do not add any value to the book if they are just graphic and useless !
I read it to the very end because I wanted to know if the author sold his ideahe didn't.
Overall, it's not an impressive debutit's a badly writte This was chosen because it was constantly on the best seller list in airport bookshops when I was travelling earlier in the year.
I thought there must be a reason and the blurb on the back about it being the best horror since the shining convinced me to read.


About 2/3rds of the way through, I was going to give this poorly written book the benefit of the doubt that the poor reviews here and on amazon were simply due to that comparisonit wasnt scary but plodded along.
However, having read the last third of the book when I can only say that the story descends into chaos where I did not have a clue (or care) about what was going on, this has to go down as the one of the worst books ever written.
And I include the ones that I didnt enjoy and stopped wasting my time reading in that list.


The story builds nicely.
Conrad Harrison

Christopher Ransom

☆ The Birthing House Õ Download by ☆ Christopher Ransom Christopher Ransom is the author of internationally bestselling novels including The Birthing House and The People Next Door. He studied literature at Colorado State University and worked at Entertainment Weekly magazine in New York, and now lives near his hometown of Boulder, Colorado.